Thursday, November 17, 2011

NaBloPoMo Prompt of the Day: Crush

Prompt of the Day:

Make a list of everyone you've ever had a crush on in your life, then choose one from the list and describe him or her in great detail.
(Guest Prompt by Ann Napolitano, author of A Good Hard Look )

Lordy, do we really have time for this? 

I fall into crushes easily. Painfully easily. I have been enamored with everyone from classmates, people I've met at local live shows, coworkers, bosses, clients, customers, store clerks, friends of friends, and close friends who I adore but would never want to cross that line with. Sometimes those crushes become so big that I blush and end up avoiding the person until I can simmer down and get over it, but the only crushes I have now are little ones that just make me smile and happy to know such awesome people.

A (brief) run down: 

- a girl in grade school who had the most amazing, wavy hair and green eyes, ever. 
- a kid named Wyatt (again, grade school) who wanted next to nothing to do with me and ended up falling hard for a girl I could not stand.
- more classmates in junior high (Silas, Kathy, Vik, Anthony, Bruce, to name a few)
- more classmates in high school, but this was where classmates started to interest me less and less as they became more judgmental, more confusing, and more snotty, and I came out as bisexual and really started to question myself and what I wanted out of life.
- Two high school crushes worth mentioning - my friend Chris and his punk friend, that he tried to set me up with but the guy dropped out of high school before we could date. Chris was, of course, interested in the same girl Wyatt had been interested in years before. She was not so annoying at this point, and we actually were friendly in class to each other. 
- Kendra, Aaron, Mike, a different Mike....not classmates but people I knew through a youth center I hung out at.

(...geez, this list is making me sound bad...)

- Big Tom, Andy, Scampi, and a few other various local musicians (drummers and bass players in particular, it always seemed)
- various customers at the jobs I worked after high school
- a coworker who is still a dear friend to this day
- a couple coworkers when I worked for Tower Books (two who worked at the same store as me, one who worked at the record store)
- a girl who worked at the beauty salon next to Tower Books, who I quickly got over once I actually went on a date with her.
- a friend I used to go play cards with at another friend's house, almost nightly. I badly had a crush on him but he had no interest in me other than as a friend. That one stung a bit.

(ok, fast forwarding a bit...)

- a definitely straight, but totally cute as hell and beyond artistically talented friend of a friend
- one of my professors from last semester, who was absolutely brilliant and pushed me to think in ways I had not thought before.
- two former coworkers from the grocery store I work at now.
- three of my current coworkers, one of which knows. 

And of course, a trail of famous actors, actresses, musicians, and models. But they aren't "real" and therefore don't count, right? 

Now, here's the thing about my crushes - I get them on people I think are witty, interesting, or extremely talented in some way. They are people I just like to be around or want to hang out with a lot. No one that I have had a crush on has ever become someone I had a relationship with, EVER. A crush NEVER becomes more than a crush. That's where it's different from the start for me. When someone comes along that catches my interest enough for me to want to pursue them, it's a totally different feeling. I get shy. I blush, a lot. Crushes I'll chatter at, tease, joke with. Someone I'm actually interested in will have a hard time getting me to look them in the face because I simply won't know what to say. It's stupid, but that's just how it always has been for me. 

Out of respect for The Swede and what we have going on, I'm not going to describe in detail any of my crushes. Besides, I don't spend that much time on thinking of any of them anyways. I am quite smitten by The Swede, with his bright blue eyes and scattering of freckles. I like everything from the way he laughs, to how how strong his hands are, to the way he silently would walk up behind me, wrap his arms around my waist, and just press his lips against my hair or neck while I was cooking or looking at something at the store. If I am thinking of anyone in great detail, it's him. And those are details that I am keeping to myself. 

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