Friday, September 16, 2011

Roller Coaster

Today has been one of "those" days.

The type of day that began with Agent M and I both waking up early, hanging out on my bed for a little bit, and then casually getting ready to take him to school. No rush, no hustle. Dropped him off to school and made it back home by the time we usually are rushing out the door.

The type of day that had a long To-Do list, but nothing too time consuming. In the last few hours I've called and made an appointment with my college class counselor, called and got a scholarship so that Agent M can take chess classes at his school again, talked to The Swede a little bit before he went out for the night, caught up on reading emails, and sent off an email to The Ex. I was getting ready to dye my hair, and figured I'd go run a few errands before picking up Agent M from school.

Then the phone rang.

Sparing the details, the phone call was concerning an errand I had to run today. By the time the call ended, I was feeling antsy, angry, stressed, and full of money worries. So, I did what any close-to-30-year-old would do when feeling that way.

I called my mum.

I vented. I stressed out. And she calmed me. She didn't take it personal when I said no to every option she presented, and she was kind when I apologized and acknowledged that those were some pretty good options actually.

When I got off the phone with her, I dyed my hair, called my attorney to touch base and see if I'm any closer to actually being done with the divorce. More confirmation and encouragement from them. Still feeling antsy and full of "Fight-or-flight" frustration, I went downstairs and ate a slice of swiss cheese. Contemplating and planning my next seven moves with each bite and chew. I ran back upstairs as fast as I could, plunked out these words, and am going to put plans into action. I'm not going to let the fear of the next moves scare me into submission. I've got so much good going on, and today has so much potential for awesome. One phone call is one phone call. I'm the one in charge of how it effects the rest of the day. I will keep telling myself that today, as the plans unfold, if I begin to falter.

Today has been a roller coaster and it's barely past noon.

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